.....the undisputable ultimate geocache.....


Wiser to leave treasure, than find it.

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GeoCache Stories

Everybody wants to find treasure.

We are not everybody.


This website, first uploaded November 2007, will improve. There are many things to do. This is one of them.


This website initiates the internet archival record of the people who were among the first to leave treasures, intended to not be found for at least 200 years, perhaps 200,000 years, and recorded their activity on the internet, for their amusement, and for the research amusement of the people who might eventually find the treasures.

From creating treasure you learn the knowledge of it, and by leaving an UltimateGeoCache, you most precisely grant its knowledge to the future.

The only thing you ever acquire truly of your own, is knowledge. You can dispense with the physical stuff the moment you have learned the knowledge it offers.

This aint no foofoo cat and mouse, hide and seek geocache game with a bottle of cheap whiskey, a dollar bill or a kid's toy, worthy and fun endeavor that game certainly is. This is the game of those whose minds think further into the future. You can link this humble website at your websites, to indicate your related recognition.

Your mission, that of a gentleman or gentlewoman of noticeable wisdom, should you consider it of value for your time, is to create an Ultimate GeoCache with a current dollar value of US $1,000 or more, or perhaps somewhat more than an ounce of gold, with no upper limit. It might be of gold coins, silver, high quality artwork, an antique, or anything impartially considered to be worth $1,000 or more in current dollar value. You might put one of your own signed artworks in your UltimateGeoCache.

Insure that it is of durable nature, and not include anything that time alone would noticeably deteriorate.

With it, include any written comments or story you might wish to be later found, on acid-free paper. Mention the location of the cache, for the story value if it is found a long ways away, after a river or ocean journey.

Including a few currently dated coins easily verifies the general date of the cache.

Encase it in a high quality, very durable container or layered containers capable of surviving earth surface changes for a long time.

Cache it where it will most likely not soon erode out of its hidden position, and not be found for a minimum of 200 years, possibly 2,000 or 200,000.

Be alone when you cache it. Tell no one where it is, not one other person, and mention no clues.

Those are the standards of UltimateGeoCache.net. You are the person assigned the task of wisely concluding that the standards are reasonably met for your Ultimate GeoCache.

And then if you wish, to create a currently dated record that may survive as long, for curious future researchers to possibly learn about the original incentive for this pattern of objects rarely found, you may notify UltimateGeoCache.net of the following information to be ascribed to computer and internet archival records:

1. Name: Your real name or a code name.
2. Town: Your town of residence, or a code name.
3. Region of cache: The general geographical location of the cache, such as a state or region of a country.
4. Year item cached: The year you cached the item.
5. Item: A specific or generalized description of the item.
6. Container size and description: The general size, shape and construction of the cache container, any surface number.
7. Any comments worthy of recording, photo of the treasure and container if you wish.

Submit no clues of the location. Your intent is to insure that it not be found for at least 200 years, and then found by rare chance, if found at all.

A reason to do this, if you did not think of it already, is to have fun doing something unusual that may delight the future discoverer of a small treasure.

The humans are voraciously digging up all the old treasures. Now even hordes of common GeoCache hunters have been added to the crowd poking around everywhere. The supply of treasures needs restocking, and better hidden. The treasure hunting culture will otherwise die out for lack of treasures, and future generations will blame us for finding all the treasures. Or something like that.

You have already accumulated too much stuff to leave to your younger relatives anyway, and they have too much stuff. The stuff has been seen enough. Leave a modicum of the better stuff for the greater enjoyment of a future discovery.

The percentage of UltimateGeoCache items that are never found, because you wisely hid them so well, or get metamorphosed into an anomaly in rock, creates the standards and greater value of those which are found. Hide it where mother nature will reveal it only at the proper time, or keep it for herself as a return on her original investment.

Any code names and generalizations you might wish to use for the website recorded information would be designed to prevent friends from poking around your favorite places if you cached the treasure there.

These items would want to be the sort of things that if found in the future a finder would display them as a prominent conversation piece in their house, or be displayed in a museum, and stories told.

In a thousand years, a finder might want to take such an item to the Cyberspace Galaxy Region 57 Antique Road Show of the Milky Way, with a chance of being individually televised on zeberwave. The appraiser should be impressed, perplexed, or perhaps UltimateGeoCache.net savvy. "We have not seen anything like this on the market. You have a remarkable treasure. We authenticated its antiquity and even identified its original owner from an early series Earth internet database chip we located in a Region 12 cyberdata bunker. It is obviously in perfect condition, except this gouge where you screwed it up with the chain saw you apparently used to open the container. Do you have any idea of its value?"

A waterproof container would be logical. Buoyant. Fire resistant would be appropriate. Certainly impact and crush resistant. Gnawing animals should find it unpalatable. Not easily opened.

Therefore, a significant part of your project is creating the container, especially if you have decided to UltimateGeoCache your authentic Aztec pendulum grandfather clock because the grandchildren never believed your stories.

You might engrave the external surface of the container with the current date, and a message to open it at the earliest in 200 years, just in case you hid it where a flood washes it out in 20 years, a landslide too soon exposes it, a house addition causes it to be dug up, or a US Homeland Security Gestapo Dog sniffs it out because you buried it while you were eating a tub of fried chicken.

If you wish to engrave a unique number on the container, UltimateGeoCache.net will record that number with your information.

You will enjoy the solo trip to hide the treasure, the effort to bury or otherwise hide the GeoCache magnificently, and your later thoughts of the trip and the future.

This may be the original Ultimate GeoCache project, of its nature. Registration at this website does not preclude registering the same information on other websites, or creating similar websites. Anyone can copy this material for their own data base, and upload it elsewhere.

This website is a real person project, not a computer program. So email your information, comments or questions to Doug at DougBuchanan.com. He will upload your UltimateGeoCache info and other worthy stuff when he gets around to it.

If you are a gracious gentleman or gentlewoman, and wish to do so, you might send the web slave a smidgen of anything to keep this humble website drifting in cyberspace, maybe to Region 12. A bottle of fine wine. Money of any amount. Treasure from your neglected old cardboard boxes, valuable wisdom, or the exact location of the greatest hidden treasure on Earth, for the web slave to verify, be entertained, and leave in place. The web slave will use your monetary offering frugally, and if more than his needs, will wisely apply it to that of future value which does not inure to his benefit.

And there we jolly well have it. Now, get a real job so you can afford this endeavor, and enjoy making the container.

May you learn the most knowledge of the most concepts, most efficiently, and have entirely too much fun doing so.

Doug Buchanan, the web slave.

1957 Weston Drive
Fairbanks, Alaska 99709
Doug at DougBuchanan.com
907 479 2149


Suggested Ultimate GeoCache type locations.... A good Ultimate GeoCache location is a specific, unusual knowledge puzzle that will increase your understanding of geology, weather, human and other animal activities, and time, not otherwise commonly considered. Simply start with an interesting location available to you, then ask and answer all the questions of its likely future. Then think of a better place.

....The non-descript hillside... A non-descript hillside away from historic attractions or future development might continue eroding at a rate that an object buried a foot or so down might erode out in a few hundred years. The metal detector crowd might have no reason to search there for old pieces of metal. The container would want to be washed clean of smells that would entice a bear or the neighbor's dog, and a rock placed on top of it might keep a digging animal from exposing it. In due time, it might erode out, be noticed by a hiker, or roll down the hill, be seen by a farmer, or later be washed away by an eroding river, be seen by a fisherman, or get to the ocean, be seen by a sailor, or be washed up on a beach and found by some little local kid who will bash it open with a rock, crushing the contents.

....The back yard... Many of the valuable antiquities in museums were dug up from what were previously back yards, front yards, and living rooms. People build new things on top of old things, and eventually dig down through the stuff for a better foundation. Guess at the time it will take for a strip mall construction project to dig up your neighborhood, then go farther away and bury your cache in a back yard, away from the next house addition. Both will get there at some time, perhaps in 200 years.

....The ocean coast line... A buoyant object buried back from an ocean shore a few hundred yards has a high chance of being eroded into the ocean at a time that can sometimes be calculated from existing data of the area, or the type of shore. Once on the ocean, the object is that for which every beach comer is searching, and searching, and searching.

....The glacier... Existing data of most glaciers can identify the time period between any point above the firn line (line of accumulation/melt equilibrium), and its melt-out point, including the likely position of that down-glacier point. Many glaciers have a known age for snow between the top and the melting terminus of the glacier. They vary from a few decades to several thousand years. Select a glacier with a position duration age of your preference, place a white container at the top (bergshrund or above), kick some snow over it, and wait at the bottom for that many years. If you are asleep when it melts out in 500 years, start looking in the river and ocean below the glacier. A sturdy container to endure the pressure at the bottom of a glacier, is wise. If it scrapes some rocks, well, have more than one layer of container. Global warming may cause you to miss your guess a bit, but in that time period, global cooling may start, and you may miss your guess by the duration of the next ice age. No problem, it is an Ultimate GeoCache.

....The mountain summit... A non-descript spot just below the top of a mountain, under rock or glacier ice, away from the mountain climber routes, offers a good Ultimate GeoCache location for an obviously grand journey. Emphasize the strength of the container. Bury it under as much rock as you can. Mountain summits erode fast in comparison with land below them.

....Other locations... With the game being predicated on the controlling concept of an object being rediscovered by people only after 200 years, among hordes of treasure hunters inherent to human curiosity, you will have as much fun selecting the location and appropriate container as the person finding it and figuring out the game you played.


Ultimate GeoCache Service... If you are not able to get out of town, or do not have the time, and want to cache something worthy of an Ultimate GeoCache, with information about yourself to intrigue, impress or bore the finder of the treasure more than 200 years from now, the guy who cached Ultimate GeoCache cache #1 will conduct that adventure for you. He will put it in a high quality Ultimate GeoCache location in Alaska, or anywhere in the world, at your request. Inquire for details through the web slave. Being a solo trip to a unique place in the hinterlands, of the highest Ultimate GeoCache standards, not just some local hole in the ground, the service would be priced proportionally.


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